Classic grum : hahaha you stupid fuckwits…

Note: Once upon a time I used to run the blog cranialvomit.com – eventually like all my other blogs it fizzled and died. Unlike my other blogs though, I managed to keep an archive of old posts. Throughout the next few weeks/months/years, I’ll be reposting some of my old blog entries (occasionally edited) for those of you who haven’t witnessed the wonders that was me, from faaaaaaaaaar in the past. Well, two to three years ago anyway.

This particular post was written back in the day when I ruled the world of Myspace. Unfortunately for me this was also the time when people started showing up at my front door – it seems my address was available online for anyone to find.

The time now is 1am and I am in bed dozing when suddenly I hear a scream…

Hmm odd.. That sounds like my name….

“Grrrrrruuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm!!!!”.

The sound of a V8 tears through the night and vanishes as fast as it arrived. Ahh the joys of living on a main road. The sound returns, followed by the same scream….

“Grrrrrruuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm!!!!”.

Before the sound of the engine fades away again, it is replaced by a huge screech and cracking sound. This is followed by a series of voices swearing into the void of night. The vehicle starts up again but is accompanied with a hollow metallic scraping sound.

Whoops, I think that was the muffler scraping the ground….

Seems like someone forgot that a steering wheel is incredibly useful when dealing with roundabouts. Just like the fucktards who seem to use this street as their own private Bathurst every night. Someone always seems to have an accident at that roundabout.

Somehow I have a feeling I know who these people are… They seem to know who I am.

Oh well, hopefully one of them sustained a fatal head injury and is crawling to what they think is my front door, but is really my recycling bin which is blurred in their blood clotted swolen eyes. Don’t worry folks, this suburb is safe for road accident victims. A local will find him and will proceed to sodomise the almost lifeless body.

Everyone should get a good as raping before death. It cleanses the soul.

And the colon.

Oh well.. Back to bed.

G

November 19th, 2009 // Classic grum